The rooms of my mind

A strange thing happens (or at least for me) when you get into paper writing exam mode. I can literally (literally!) see things fall apart around me the closer to deadline I get.

Dishes slowly start to pile up, I get sloppy with my clothing, papers are scattered everywhere, my hair looks like a hornet's nest, and I become a hermit in every sense of the word.

But I think that there is a hidden process to all of this. I think my surroundings are descriptive of what is going on in my brain. When writing week starts you can slowly see the order crash into disorder. It starts with opening your files and slowly unbinding the material you have been gathering and the more you take out the more it spreads across your floor and desk. However, at this point in the process it is still systematic.

But as the days continue and your brain toys with contradictory ideas fighting for the angle and focus of your paper those organised papers start to be flung across the room and soon all mayhem breaks loose. It is organised chaos. You know where everything is and if anyone dares to touch your precious mess they might be met with a fist.

Then the procrastination sets in. You have an idea but you're not sure about it. So with that you let it mull over in your mind and your apartment finds itself suspended, still not clean. Once your procrastinating is done you realise that you have left everything just that little bit too late and now the deadline is looming closer that you would like it to. Now things get crazy!

Cereal bowls mount up next to your papers. You forget to cook yourself a proper meal and decide to opt for a peanut butter and jam sandwich, cereal, or anything that you can grab. Cooking is simply too much when you are at the stage of delirium.

As you feel yourself slip closer towards dementia and your heartbeat starts to speed up as that inevitable paper writing frenzy washes over you. You stop. You take a look around you. Gasp! "I can't concentrate in this mess". And just like that you find yourself cleaning up: doing the dishes, stacking your papers, making your bed and brushing your hair. A weird calm washes over you as you sit down in front of your laptop. Yip, you are in the zone now. You have organised the space in your room and in some magical way you have also organised your thoughts. You are ready to argue.

Then the typing comes, flows, stops, goes. The rat-tat-tat of the keyboard falls into a steady rhythm and you are no longer at your wits end. "What will be will be"; "I can only do my best". With that you finish typing close your laptop and do something totally unrelated with your time before giving it one last squizz before hand-in which results in a couple of hyperventilated breaths as you start to question your arguments before you realise "it's too late now" and hand in the paper.

Then you take another breath and brace yourself for the next round of madness.