The language mismatch

OK, so anyone who has ever tried to learn a new language knows that it is no easy task and plucking up the courage to speak this new language is terrifying.

I'm not terribly good with learning languages. I can barely speak Afrikaans (a well known language in South Africa); Oliver's (my boyfriend) family is German and over the years my ear for the language has developed but my ability to speak it is still shocking; and lastly, after living in South Korea for a year I was able to master a few basic phrases like hello, yes, no, how are you?, where is the toilet?, etc but even after a year speaking the language was no easy task.

So I have been in Sweden now for a month...how is my Swedish panning out? Well, I start formal lessons from the 31st of October so I have been doing self-study at home off of the internet....my vocabulary is getting better but my pronunciation needs a lot of work...which became apparent when I tried to read for some of my Swedish and Danish friends who were mystified by what I was trying to say and were in fits of laughter by how I was trying to say it.

Well, anyway...On Friday for lunch I went with a friend of mine, Nina, to buy a Kebab. Before I ordered I confidently said to her that I was going to order in Swedish....

I step up to the counter and say ein Kebab, the man starts speaking to me and I realise I understand what he is saying (I'm blown away....wow...my home studying has really paid off)...he is asking me what sauce I would like, I hear sharf which I know to be hot and I quickly stop him saying sharf in reply. He then repeats the order back to me and I say ne (which is yes in Korean). Realising my mistake I quickly say yes in English and then step aside waiting for the order to be made and I start giggling at my mistake...Nina then asks me why he was speaking German to me. Confused I realise that I had order ein kebab instead of ett kebab and the very well spoken kebab man had been speaking German to me which is why I understood what sauces he was listing....so much for my at home study lessons.

After that Nina and I were in fits of laughter....we couldn't contain ourselves. Keeping in mind that placing the order only took a few brief minutes this post barely does the situation justice....I was throwing around little bits of other languages and some how I still got the right order.

This wasn't the first time I got languages confused and I'm pretty sure it won't be the last....

Just wait till the next time someone gets me drunk or I'm overly tired, or I'm just not paying attention...they are going to have a poorly speaking Swedish, Korean, German, Afrikaans English person on their hands....

Bicycle, Bicycle, BICYCLE

"Why won't you let me ride my Bicycle, Bicycle BICYCLE", a famous lyrics from a song by Queen pops into my mind regularly while I am in Sweden. Not only because it is a ear worm and when I hear it on my PC it is invariably glued to my brain for the next couple of days but also because there are so many of these two-wheeled inventions darting and cruising around Lund.

Sure, its' not the bicycle mayhem of Amsterdam or Copenhagen but I have never lived in a place before where a bicycle is actually the main mode of transport. I see men in suits on their way to work, and women dressed to the nines with high heels and all happily glide along without messing up their perfectly done up hair.

Another way that you know that they are serious about bicycles here is the range of bicycle attachments and contraptions you see. There are the three wheeled covered bicycles for when it's raining, bicycles with baby seats, bicycles with baby carriages so that your kid doesn't get wet when it decides to rain (which is apparently a lot).

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Beyond the contraptions it's the skills you witness. I can barely keep my handlebars straight most of time (which is evident when you consider that I had a mild crash the other day when a kid and I connected and I was left with several bruises). But, people here have some mad skills. They are off their seats before the bike stops seemingly standing next to it while they guide it into a parking spot, they smoke, sms, and even hold umbrellas all while going a lot faster on their bikes than I could even hope to be on a bright, sunny day with no wind and both hands on the handlebars.


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Now I don't have any photos to prove these things to you because I feel like a bit if a turd whipping out my camera at every little thing that makes me go ooooh and aaaah but I promise you it's true and pervasive and I hope that before I leave Sweden I would have mastered the ability to park by bicycle in a fashion that is a little more elegant than my current heavy handed manoeuvring that makes me look like a bull in a china-shop.

Some sort of fool!

Ok, so this isn't a personal attack against myself or anything but I must admit that I can do some pretty stupid things...put me in a different country when small, seeminly mundane things baffle me then you are bound to get some surprising results.

It all started with a bottle opener, yes, a bottle opener. I bought a can of sweet corn (mielies back home) but have been avoiding opening it because of the peculiar tin opener I have. Needless to say I tried several times to twist it around the can and puncture it but to no avail.

So just the other day I was speaking to my new found friend Nina about my little dilemma. She comes from Denmark and says she finds using these openers much easier. She then carelessly told me to push it in and pull it along. OK! So it's that simple I thought...I was just being silly, right?

So that night I decided to face the dreaded can and, no, it was not that easy. All I ended up doing was puncturing the can until it looked like something that had been left in a scrap yard. After a little while of puncturing holes in to I joined the holes to make a bigger whole (which was still quite small relatively speaking) and poured my corn out. What a mission!

So that was my one foolish moment and no I have not yet figured it out so until I find another opener to buy (which I have been looking for but this style appears to be the national favourite)  I will avoid tin food! Sounds fair enough. The next foolish moment, caused me a little more pain.

Because it is so dry here...with winter approaching and the change of season etc I noticed that my skin was very dry so I went about trying to buy some body cream. So standing in the isle I pick up a bottle of cream and off I go. Now let me explain my skin is very cooperative, it gives me no hassles and makes very few demands of me so I usually use body cream for my face as well and I have never had any issues.

So after my shower I decided to put some cream on and while rubbing it into my arm I realise that the cream takes forever to rub in and a little stretches very, very far! Weird, must be a Swedish cream-thing I thought! So after a couple of days of using the cream on my body and face I realise that the skin on my chin is getting very dry. URG! So in an attempt to counteract the dryness I put even more of the body cream on my chin, seems logical. But it burns a little and the condition worsens, eventually I begin to feel self conscious of it so I head off to the pharmacy and I got a non-perfumed face cream. So now I have my remedy!

Then this morning I am about to put on my body cream (the first one I bought) and realise it says "duschcreme". I stop! Doesn't dusch mean shower or something? OMG! I've been rubbing liquid soap into myself for the past week thinking it was cream! What an idiot!! No wonder my chin decided to go red and hate me!! What a fool!!

And to top all of that on my way home today I realised I have absolutely no idea how to put the light on my bike on!

So yes...I am some sort of fool!

Let the madness begin!

Ok, so classes started this week and I can officially say I forgot how demanding studying can be. It's only been one week of class and I'm already running around like a crazy women let loose on a pig farm.

When I saw our schedule, which has two lectures a week and a seminar I thought that this would be easy peezy! Not because I'm being all overly confident but because during my fourth year at University in South Africa I had five courses each with two or three lectures a week. So when I saw that in Sweden at a Masters level you tend to only do one course at a time I stupidly equated that to mean I would have hordes of time to engage in all of the other cool things happening on campus.


You see, I have been given reading, but not just a little bit...each week we have hordes or material to wade through before the lecture. For next week Tuesday we have 12 chapters of a book to get through. Phew! And to top of all the madness as class started I also started meeting people, fancy that!

So with all this work to do what am I doing today on a gorgeous Saturday in Sweden. Staying home? Nooooo, I'm actually about to hop on a train and head to Copenhagen which is only half an hour away! And what will I be doing tomorrow you ask? Tomorrow I'll be reading like a demon...I'll be reading so fast the pages will be on fire ( I figure this is the better attitude to have...) As long as I have a mid afternoon nap to re-charge my batteries I'll be all set and ready for Tuesday. Nap!? I know right...but they are actually one of my little loves in life....mmmmm.

So this was just a very very quick entry to say that things are officially underway. Class has started and now it this time to step up to the plate and prove my worth. But it is also time to start to get to know my surroundings a bit better and in the coming weeks there are some cool things coming up. Unfortunately I won't be able to partake in all of the events, one because there are simply too many of them, two I need to make time for studies, and three some of them tend to be a bit pricey. But when I do go to one I will be sure to let you know what weird and awesome things I have been up to

Alrighty but I better start getting ready for my daytrip to Denmark...I'll let you know how it goes!